The View from the Gutter

So for the past few days I have been trapped at home as an invalid sick with one of those end of winter virus things. After pretending to read a book and waiting for Netflix to arrive became too much I decided to review the last bastion of culture in western civilization: daytime tv. Most people have mixed feelings about daytime TV; they tend to have had their ideas about it formed during the most traumatic parts of their lives such as being a young child, high school and college. I remember daytime TV being very confusing as a child and during college felt that it signified failure and disgrace (interestingly enough this rule seemed to end after 4 pm as god knows how many hours I could have studied more instead of watching pimp my ride, real world austin, and next. ) Anyway here are some highlights I’ve discovered:

THE STEVE WILKOS SHOW: Steve from the Jerry Springer days has his own show now. Imagine a version of Springer that was less funny and more tragic, funny but not haha funny. That’s pretty much what it is. Rather than the humorous antics of “how hill billies hump” or “tranny’s get even” or even “I’ve got a secret” we have big steve confronting a woman for AN HOUR about how her response to her 12 year olds allegations of rape against her new step father was not handled in a timely and responsible manner. Its pretty much Steve screaming at some white trash house wife until she is a quivering mass a gelatin and tears on the floor. Then it’s on to steve’s mailbag where he tells his detractors to go to hell and sends out t shirts in response to fan mail.

RACHEL RAY: Pretty much every Oprah related spin off hurts my brain to watch so I had to limit my exposure to 5 minute blocks. Basically all I took is that the goal to life is to cook food and then eat it (that is kind of the zen of the caveman I guess) and I don’t know why that belongs on nation wide tv. Also her mmm-mm’s after eating food are a little to house wife risqué, take that as you will, I have included a link to prove my intelligence.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0grpE8Qp6sE

(If you really wanted to be impressed by the troglodytic nature of the American you tuber read the comments on that video.)