Bittersweet return

After a brief hiatus, and the sad departure of C.elgans due to her “day job”, I am once again touched by the overwhelming desire to help you navigate this technological world.

So, I bring you what I think is a fitting topic: the end of a textversation.

As some of you know, as of a couple months ago, I was carrying on three different textual relationships. All very different, I was getting what I needed from several sources. (N.B. Yes, dad, I realize that these “virtual relationships” are keeping me from actually meeting a “real” man. I also understand that you’re not getting younger, and you want grandchildren. And no, I’m not a lesbian. Yet.)

In any event, away from my natural habitat for the summer, I’ve discovered something else unnatural: all of these relationships have ended.

The first, I ended. Upon reflection, I’m not sure why. I just stopped responding. I’ve tried convincing myself that it was because his sarcasm didn’t really transfer to texting. It is a fine art, and I think he thought he was funnier than he was. Not his fault. Well, it was, actually.

The next, went to a foreign country for three months. Surprisingly, I didn’t notice until a couple of days ago. I mean, I knew he was gone, I’m not that self-centered. But I didn’t feel his absence. It was like in 10th grade, when I gave up soda for soccer season. At first, I wanted Diet Coke all the time. Like, constantly. Then, I didn’t. I forgot. I got used to not having it. This guy is gone from my life like that. (Of course, I am currently looking at 3 empty Diet Coke bottles on my desk, so the metaphor may not have run its course yet.)

I’ll let you think about this for a second before I move on to something more upsetting.

Marinate, think upon your own relationships, have a cry, go to the bathroom, come back.